The wedding list is one of the most difficult parts of planning a wedding. You have determined your budget and now you have to fit your guest list to fit into that budget. Your guest list has to include relatives, friends and of course Plus-Ones. Who should and should not get a plus-one?
If you have an unlimited budget and unlimited space, you can let every guest bring someone to your wedding. But, most likely, the budget and space will be limited, so you will have to make some tough decisions. In order to help you with the plus-one decisions, check out the below tips:
Who should get a plus-one?
Married Couples –
All couples who are married should be invited together. You may not like a spouse or you may be closer to one person in the marriage, but you really need to invite both parties to the marriage. It is polite and a tradition to acknowledge the spouse for your wedding list even if you’ve never met them or you don’t care for them.
Engaged Couples, Living Together, Serious Relationship –
In general, engaged couples, couples living together or those who have been dating for over a year, should get plus-one invitations. Today, many couples live together for years before getting married or never get married at all, but it is proper to acknowledge their relationship on your guest list. However, you may need to use your judgement for teenagers who have boyfriends and/or girlfriends. It is not required to invite the girl or boyfriend as a plus-one, but you may have to base your decision on the seriousness of the relationship and your budget.
Wedding Party –
Everyone in your wedding party would appreciate a plus-one invitation. Most likely, you will know who is married or in a serious relationship to include as a plus-one. If you do not want to assume someone is single, just ask the members in your wedding party if they would like to bring a plus-one. Remember, your bridesmaids and groomsmen are your support throughout the wedding planning process and during the wedding. They are planning bachelor parties, helping you get dressed, ushering guests to their seats, and any other last minute things that need to get done. In addition, they have also spent money and time on planning the bachelorette parties, purchasing the bridesmaids dresses and grooms’ suits, not to mention lodging and air travel. This is one plus-one you should add to the guest list.
Single, Out Of Town & Important Guests –
If you have a childhood friend or college friend that will travel to your wedding, you may want to allow him or her a plus-one. This type of guest is someone you want to attend your wedding, but that may not feel comfortable coming alone. If you want to encourage them to come and support you, support them with a plus-one option.
Who should not get a plus-one?
Casual Dating Guests –
Guests who are not in a serious relationship or guests who date a lot, are not someone that you need to provide a plus-one for your wedding. If you have the budget to allow guests to invite a plus-one, then it is very thoughtful to include the option in your invitation.
Co-workers can be a very dangerous wedding list category. The plus-one may not even be the first thing to consider when it comes to co-workers. Depending on the dynamics of your workplace, it may be easier to not invite anyone from your work. People can get their feelings hurt and when your wedding is over, you will most likely have to go back to work and have to explain why one person was invited and another was not. If you work in a team, invite the entire team or none at all. If you are very close to some co-workers inside and outside of work, it is okay to include them on your wedding list. Once you have determined whom you are going to invite, remember to consider whether they are married or in a serious relationship to determine if they get a plus-one too.
Distant Relatives & Friends –
As your are working through your guest list with your family and future in-laws, you may encounter some problems with distant relatives and friends. These are the guests that the bride and groom probably do not know, do not remember, or may not have ever met, but a family member wants them on the list. If this guest makes it on the list after a lengthy discussion, do not add a plus if your budget is already being pushed to its limits. However, if your family member really wants to include the plus-one, provide the option to the family member to pay for the plus-one on the guest list.
Make Sure You Get A Plus-One Count With Names
Make sure that you get all of the names of the plus-one guests. You will want them to include in the total wedding guest count. If you can, try to get the actual name of the plus-one to include on your save-the-date cards, invitations, and seating cards. The invitation is so much nicer if you can include the actual name over “plus guest.” This additional step will also make the plus-one feel like an invited guest.
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